Finding Inspiration

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Finding Inspiration”  

I got my eyes on you,

You're everything that I see

I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly

I can't get over you,

You left your mark on me

I want your high love and emotion, endlessly

'Cause you're a good girl and you know it

You act so different around me

'Cause you're a good girl and you know it

I know exactly who you could be

Just hold on we're going home

Just hold on we're going home

It's hard to do these things alone

Just hold on we're going home, ho oh

You're the girl

You're the one

Gave you every

Thing I love

I think there's something

Baby

I think there's something

Baby

     This is one of my all-time favorite songs.  Every time I hear it, it invokes emotions in me that I truly enjoy.  It’s almost magical at times.  But when you read the lyrics you may misunderstand why this song is so magical to me.  This song is titled “Hold On, We’re Going Home” and is by Drake featuring Majid Jordan.  It was released in 2013. 

   If you’ve read one of my previous blogs you may remember that 2013 was a very defining year in my life.  It was the year that I truly found gratitude and began incorporating it into my life.  It was a great time to learn the power of gratitude since I was at a time in my life where I could have gone into a downward spiral.  I had just lost a job that I had worked over 10 years to achieve.  At the time I was in a job that was paying me 60% of what I was accustomed to getting paid and it looked like it would be a long time before I reached that type of salary again.  I didn’t know exactly what was in store for me; I just knew everything would ultimately be all right.  Practicing gratitude gave me the peace to be comfortable in that belief.

    But practicing gratitude wasn’t the only inspiration I experienced during this time in my life.  Because I practiced gratitude I had a new lens on life and I found inspiration in many other ways.  One of those ways was by listening to the song “Hold On, We’re Going Home.”  I don’t remember when it started but I do know it was during one of my commutes home.  Once it started I repeated the process for many more commutes home.  It almost became a ritual.  I am reliving the memory of the emotions related to that ritual right now as I write this blog.

   As you read the lyrics to the song you will immediately think it is a typical love song. You would think it’s a man singing about a girl who he loves and has high expectations for.  That's probably how the majority of listeners interpret the song.  That's probably how the song writer wanted the song interpreted.  That is not how I interpreted the song.  Let’s break down the lyrics so I can explain.

I got my eyes on you,

You're everything that I see

To me the “you” in the song represented my true self.  Think of singing about yourself in third person.  You can also think in terms of your conscious mind singing about your subconscious mind.

I want your hot love and emotion, endlessly

I can't get over you,

Here the “hot love and emotion” represented the happiness that I was so fortunate to experience after practicing gratitude for 28 straight days.  That emotion was something I’d never felt and sustained at any other part of my life.  I wanted it because it felt so good.  I couldn’t get over how good it felt.

'Cause you're a good girl and you know it

You act so different around me

To me the “good girl” represented a great person and I knew I was a great person.  I also felt that the “act so different around me” represented the confidence and self worth I felt inside but did not often outwardly express.

'Cause you're a good girl and you know it

I know exactly who you could be

I really got emotional on this part of the song.  Although, I hadn’t reached my full potential; I knew “exactly” who I “could be.”

Just hold on we're going home

Just hold on we're going home

It's hard to do these things alone

Just hold on we're going home, ho oh

Home represented my ultimate destination of true happiness day in and day out.  I know I’m on my way as long as I hold on and stay the course.  I know it’s hard (if not impossible) to get there alone so this served as a little reminder that I’ll need help along the way.

You're the girl

You're the one

Gave you every

Thing I love

I think there's something

Baby

I think there's something

Baby

This represented me acknowledging I’m the one and I’m giving life my all.  The “think” in my mind was replaced with believe and the “something” was my ability to achieve my desires.  I truly believe I will achieve my desires.

    That is what the song “Hold On, We’re Going Home” means to me.  It is a wonderful song to inspire me about my overall outlook on life.  I’m grateful that my experience with practicing gratitude has allowed me to see this song the way I see it.  I believe that I will achieve all of my desires and anytime I need a little reminder I’ll put this song on and let it do its magic.   If you don’t have a similar inspiration I hope you find one soon.  Maybe you can share mine.  Enjoy the journey!

With gratitude,

Drew

Desires and beliefs

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Desires and beliefs”  

     I am not a salesman.  I don't work well by myself.  I wasn't born to be athletic.  After the wedding real life starts and all that passionate stuff in the beginning dissipates.  You can't teach an old dog a new trick.  Love just doesn't love me.  I am just not ready right now.  I'll do it when I'm ready. Do any of these statements sound familiar?  Maybe you've said them before or maybe you've heard someone else say them.  I consider all of those statements limiting beliefs.

     What is a limiting belief?  A limiting belief is any belief you have that is getting in the way of you reaching your potential.  This definition get's tricking because thinking that your potential is limited itself is a limited belief.  So we have to get over that hurdle first.  You see you were born in the likeness of your creator.  You were born in a world of abundance.  You are one with this world; therefore you have access to all of its abundance.  As I stated over and over again, everything you need is already within you.

      I know, all of that sounds like pie in the sky.  Skeptics will say everyone can't have everything they want.  That statement is also a limited belief.  However, I will accept the rebuttal and agree.  You won't get everything you want out of life.   I mean that in the literal sense.  You will not just stand up and say I want to be a physicist and tomorrow you'll be a physicist.  But what you can have are your true desires.  Let me ask you a question.  Have you clearly defined your desires in life?

     I know many of you will say, of course I know what my desires are.  If that was your answer then you missed the question.   The question was have you clearly defined your true desires.  Once you clearly define your desires you can put an action plan in place to achieve them.  Without clear definition you will not be able to get to your final destination.  It's kind of like saying you are going to go on vacation to a beach and not having a clear plan.  Imagine packing all of your clothes, getting in the car and turning on the GPS.  If you don't have the exact address in the GPS you will just go in a general direction.  If you choose south you may eventually end up at a beach.  However, when you get there, where are you going to stay?  What if there isn't any vacancy because there is a big event happening at the time your arrived?  What if you end up at a community that is only houses and there are no hotels in the area to even choose?

     Of course, most of you would not handle a vacation like that.  If you have a week of vacation you will decide months ahead of time where you want to go.  You will research locations so you get exactly what you want out of the vacation.  You will decide what you will do everyday.  You will decide where you will stay.  You will research the restaurants to decide where you will eat.  You will take direct action so the vacation is exactly like you want it to be.  If you go somewhere you've never been before you will accept the fact that things may not go exactly as planned.  You may get there and decide to eat somewhere other than the restaurants you researched.  You may do some activities that you hadn't planned to do months before.  You will plan but you are perfectly acceptable if things don't go exactly as planned as long as it’s a good vacation.

      I gave that example because you should clearly define your desires in life in the same manner.  The problem is many of us don't.  Many of us will say what we desire and just do the best we think we can to achieve it.  Many of us will say, "I desire a good paying job"?  Others will say, "I want a big house with a basement."  One of the most common sayings is, "I want to get married and have kids."  Those are all desires.  However, they aren't clearly defined.  Combine the lack of definition and any limiting beliefs you have and you will struggle to get any of them.  You may end up getting everyone one of them and still not be happy because you lacked definition of the true desire.

     I don't know what your limiting beliefs are; all I know is that you have them.  Your beliefs are the foundation of the results you are receiving in your life.  You create your own reality.  If you believe you will fail, you will fail.  If you believe you will be successful, you will be successful.  Life seems complicated to most and the only way to handle that complexity is to break it down to its simplest form.  You will have to do some work to break the complexity down.  You have to define your desires and remove your limiting beliefs.  Both tasks will take some work.  Analyze your desires and write them down in detail.  You have to know what they are to take action to bring them to life.  Everything you need to bring them to life is already within you.  You have to do the work to make them a reality.  You also have to analyze and acknowledge your limiting beliefs.  Once you know what they are you have to eliminate them by telling yourself better stories about them.  No one else can do this for you.  I can tell you over and over again how great you are or how you can have whatever you desire.  However, nothing will come of it until you belief it yourself.  If you believe it yourself you will tell yourself better stories about your life and thus eliminate your limiting beliefs.

      Let's take the desire, "I desire a good paying job."   How could you define that in more detail to ensure your success?  That is something you have to answer for yourself.  I will tell you how I would rephrase that desire with the detail necessary.  I don't just desire a good paying job.  I desire a job that allows me to take an idea and make it a reality.  I am a very creative person and want to access that skill every opportunity that I can.  I want to be paid enough money to comfortably live the life style I desire to live today.  That includes traveling without concern for cost, paying my children's college tuition, buying my wife diamonds, owning property in the Caribbean and growing my relationships with my family and friends.  I desire a job in a setting where my voice is heard and my opinion is requested.  I want to influence decisions from the lowest level employee to the head of the company.  I want a job that respects my work life balance and allows me to decided how and when to get the work done. 

     Now let's look at potential limiting beliefs you may have about getting a good paying job.  I may think that no one is going to pay my $175,000 a year because no one is paying that type of money unless you (fill in the blank).  If you believe that then you will never make $175,000 a year unless you (whatever you filled in the blank with).  However, I guarantee there's someone out there making that salary that doesn't have that (fill in the blank).   You may believe that once you reach a certain salary level you automatically lose your work life balance.  I guarantee there's someone out there making that salary and maintaining a great work life balance.  You may believe that no one will listen to you because of the level of job you are in and therefore you can't influence decisions.  I can go on and on.

     So instead of thinking those limiting beliefs, tell yourself better stories.  Tell yourself that although it may seem that I will not get a job paying me $175,000 unless I (fill in the blank); I believe when I put in the right action plan I can get a job paying me $175,000.  Although many people seem to lose their work life balance once they reach a certain level; I believe I can reach that level in the right job and maintain my work life balance.  Although it may seem difficult for others to influence decisions; I believe when I put the appropriate actions in place I can influence decisions at all levels of my company.  All of those are examples of better stories.  They all will help you achieve your desires.  They will not limit you.  You don't need limitations.  You need to believe in order to achieve.  Instead of letting your beliefs hold you back, use your beliefs to propel you forward.  Everything you need is already within you.  Believing that statement is your first step.  Let this serve as your reminder.  Enjoy the journey!    

With gratitude,

Drew

LOVE

Drew’s Reminder,

Love.

     This weekend I had the pleasure of being the best man in my best friend’s wedding.  Although I’m less than a month away from being 45 years old, this was my first time being a best man.  I was very appreciative that the groom wanted me to play such an important role in this special time in his life.  The moment itself lived up to everything I thought it could be. It should be of no surprise that the overall them of the weekend was love.  The best part of it all was that it wasn’t only about the love of the newlyweds. 

     You see a wedding is so much more than a wedding.  For example a wedding is a mini family reunion.  I say mini because most times the entire family may not be able to make the event but many will.  I really enjoyed meeting members of both the bride’s and groom’s family.  The bride’s brother and brother-in-law were groomsmen as well so we had plenty of opportunity to bond. The groom’s cousins were groomsmen also.  The bride’s father, whom I had met a few months earlier, was without a doubt a man to respect and an architect for the family.  Of all the family I must highlight the bride’s brother and the love he shared for his daughter.  He brought his 7 year old daughter with him for the wedding and she was part of the wedding party.  To see their interaction was a thing of beauty.  There is no doubt he loves his little girl.  I would find out later that she doesn’t live with him so he drives 4-6 hours one way every other weekend to pick her up just so he can spend time with her.  That was no surprise based on the way he treated his daughter.  He was attentive, caring and nurturing every moment she was around.  Being a father of 3 beautiful girls myself I could really relate to his love for his little girl.  I could tell that he wasn’t acting this way just because of the wedding; this was how he was with her all the time.  I really enjoyed seeing the love of family.

     The weekend started with a bachelor party on Thursday evening.  As the best man it was my responsibility to plan for it and I did feel a little pressure to make sure it was right.  The groom told me over and over that he just wanted to have a nice meal and keep it laid back.  I was more worried about the rest of the groomsmen and their expectations.  I didn’t know any of the groomsmen.  They consisted of two of the groom’s cousins and two of his future brother-in-laws.  Unfortunately all of them were from out of town so I didn’t get a chance to meet them until the day of the event.  All of my concerns were for nothing as the night went off very well.  We didn’t do anything crazy.  We had some great adult cocktails, some good laughs and a good time.  It was a great start to the weekend and the beginning of us getting to know each other.  On Friday we all attended the rehearsal and continued to bond.  Finally, we all met early for the wedding and dressed in our own little house on the grounds of the wedding location.  While dressing we played music, took pictures, had plenty of laughs and continue to get to know each other.  I can truly say based on this weekend I’ve met some new friends.  We’ve all committed to planning a fellas trip to Houston soon so we can all get back together and hang out again.  This was a true example of brotherly love.

     The wedding itself was a perfect example of a vision and a dream becoming reality.  It was set at a beautiful outside venue on the grounds of a Georgia mountain.  The weather was perfect and everything went exactly as planned.  The wedding was held less than a quarter of a mile from a train track and there were some concerns that a train may travel through during the ceremony.  Several trains came through during the time we were there but none during the ceremony.  The ceremony was just meant to be perfect.  Knowing the bride and groom personally as I do, I could really see the love that they shared that day.  I've seen it before and knew that their union was inevitable.  Yet on that day there love was amplified.  You could feel it in the air.  You could see it in their faces.  To no surprise the bride was prepared and strategically placed some tissue in her dress because she knew she would cry during the ceremony.  To many others' surprise, the groom’s eyes swelled with tears as well.  I’ve been through a lot with the groom and I knew he was in a great place in his life.  I knew he was happy.  I knew he was in love.  It was a beautiful example of a couple’s love.

     At the reception I had to give a toast to the bride and groom.  I decided that instead of telling a funny story about the groom or giving marital advice, I would make a promise to both of them.  To the groom, I made the promise to always remind him through good and bad times that the love he shares with his wife is infinite and abundant.  Love is the greatest of all energies and it can neither be created nor destroyed.  I promised to remind him that the only thing that could ever stop him from having that love is him deciding not to have it.  I promised the bride that whenever the groom came to talk to me in frustration about his wife being too demanding (because that’s what wives do :-) ), I would again remind him of the same thing.  The beauty of all the love that I witnessed this weekend is that it doesn't take a wedding for us to experience love.  The same butterflies and deep emotion that everyone felt during the ceremony are available to us all if we choose to access it.  Yes, life can be demanding and ultimately distract you from accessing the love available to you.  You must make the choice on whether you let it or not.  I choose not to.  I choose to experience love as often as humanly possible.  That is both giving it and receiving it.  It shouldn’t take a wedding to get anyone to experience love but it did serve as a beautiful reminder.  Although you may or may not have attended a wedding this weekend consider yourself reminded too.  Now go out and experience some love.  Enjoy the journey!

With gratitude,

Drew

Use gratitude to release your sorrows.

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Use gratitude to release your sorrows.” 

     This week’s topic is about a subject that is near and dear to my heart, gratitude.  I have learned a lot about gratitude over the last two years.  There is no shortage of information available that I didn’t even know existed.  If I wouldn’t have had my own experience with gratitude I doubt I would have ever known the information existed.  After all, it did take me 40+ years to finally get it.  Now that gratitude holds such an important place in my life experiences I feel compelled to share what I’ve learned to help others fully realize the power of gratitude.

     Earlier last week I posted a photo on Instagram.  It wasn’t a photo of a beautiful scene in nature; it was just a story that made me think about gratitude.  The story read:

LESSON IN LIFE

A wise man sat in the audience and cracked a joke.

Everybody laughs like crazy.

After a moment, he cracked the same joke again.

This time, less people laughed.

He cracked the same joke again and again.

When there is no laughter in the crowd,

He smiled and said:

You can’t laugh at the same joke again and again,

but why do you cry over the same thing

over and over again?

     Without adding any commentary this story does its job to make you think about drowning in your sorrows.  It’s written for those of you out there that can’t seem to get past something bad that has happened in your life.  Maybe you have done something that you continue to beat yourself up about.  Maybe something has been done to you or someone else that you just can’t seem to get past. Either way the emotion of being down will be detrimental to you if you let it linger for long periods of time. 

     The emotion of being happy however, has been proven to have a positive effect on your life.  There are many studies showing how laughter can actually help you heal faster if you are sick.  We all know the intrinsic value of our happy friend.  The happy friend that comes into the room and makes everyone feel good.  It’s contagious. It’s the kind of energy we all want to catch.  Yet, sometimes we get in our own way from allowing that happy energy into our lives.

     So why do some cry over the same thing over and over again?  There are many answers to that question and in the end we all have our different reasons.  I don’t want to try and find the reason why you do it.  I want to give you a tool to help keep you from doing it at all. 

     One powerful tool that immediately comes to mind is forgiveness.  Whether it’s forgiving yourself or others, the result is the same.  If you can truly forgive then you can move on and not wallow in the fact that it happened.  But forgiveness doesn’t work in every situation.  Sometimes there’s nothing to forgive.  Sometimes things just happen that we didn’t expect to happen and it makes us sad.  In many of those cases we end up sad because we don’t understand why it happened. 

     Do you need to forgive yourself for something you’ve done?   Do you need to forgive someone else for something they’ve done that has affected you?  Do you need to stop being sad about something that happened that no one could control? I have the perfect tool that will help in all of the situations above.  That tool is gratitude.

     Let’s tackle forgiveness first.  If you are having a hard time forgiving yourself or someone else, I want you to add gratitude to your tool kit.  Even if you don’t have a hard time forgiving you should still find a way to incorporate gratitude into your forgiveness.  The first thing that you need to realize is that you don’t actually know whether something “bad” is actually “bad” for you life.  Yes, it may hurt right now but there is always something that you can or will learn from what has happened.  You need to take the time to identify that something and then be grateful for it.  I could go through a long list of examples of dumb stuff I have done over my lifetime.  I won’t because some of them are just too embarrassing to share.  Yet, I am grateful for each and every dumb thing I have done.  I’m not grateful I did them.  I’m grateful that I’ve learned something from each and every one of them and it has molded me into the person I am today.  When I analyze each situation for the silver lining it actually helps me forgive myself in the end.  This works the same when it comes to forgiving someone else for something they’ve done as well. 

     The second situation involves something sad that has happened but there’s no one to forgive.  These things just happen.  Think of a natural disaster.  If you lose a loved one in a freak accident it will make you very sad.  However, at some point you are going to need to address your sadness to keep it from being detrimental to you.  The best way to address it is to search for the silver lining in the situation at hand.  In my opinion many times this is much easier.  You can be grateful for the time you did have with that loved one.  You can be grateful for the fact that you are still here and you can live a happy productive life.   No matter what you choose to be grateful for there is something.  It’s up to you to find it.

     Gratitude is a powerful tool because it focuses our thoughts on the things that we are happy about.  That focus will actually attract more of what you are grateful for into your own existence.  If you are grateful for your strength, you will be stronger.  If you are grateful for your persistence, you will be more persistent.  If you are grateful for the good times you’ve had, you will have more good times.  If you are grateful for the roof over your head and your ability to afford it, you will attract more into your life to keep that roof right where its supposed be.  The list goes on and on.  It is up to you to build that list and then acknowledge it.

     Trust me, I know how difficult this can be at times.  Yet, that cannot be an excuse not to do it.  We create our own reality.  Sometimes that will take some work.  That work is always worth it in the end.  The most important work we can do is the work that we do on ourselves.  In this case work is not a four-letter word.  It is a wonderful solution to being happy.  If there is something that has been bringing you down, take a moment to do some work to bring you back up.  Have a moment of gratitude.  I’m having one right now.  If I hadn’t lost my job two years ago I wouldn’t be typing this reminder right now and for that I am grateful.  I hope this reminder helps you find your moment too.  Enjoy the journey!

With gratitude,

Drew