Acknowledge and be the best you possible

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Acknowledge and be the best you possible”  

      I recently hung out with my friends for an annual March Madness event and one of my friends said something to me that made me think.  He said “Drew, what’s been up?  You've been on Radio Silence haven’t you?”   Immediately when he said it I knew what he meant and I started to feel bad about it.  The reason I felt bad because I understood exactly what he meant by that comment.  You see we had hung out a lot over the previous couple of months and then all of a sudden I was nowhere to be found.  I hadn't called, sent a text or participated much in the group chats.  I had been radio silent.  Before I started feeling too bad I had to remind myself of who I am and then I apologized to my friend for my silence.  We laughed and smiled and had a great time that night.

     However, I remember that statement and felt I had to write about it.  Let me explain why.  Being radio silent is a part of me that I’ve lived with my entire life.  I am by definition an introvert.  There was a time in my past (not that long ago) where I saw this as a negative.  I wished I was like my wife who is outgoing and can start up a conversation with any stranger.  I can do that too but I don’t choose to very often if at all.  I used to get anxiety just being in a room of people I didn’t know or didn’t know that well.  I used to be worried about not being able to hold a conversation or sitting there in awkward silence.  I still feel that anxiety sometimes even today but I have changed in another positive way.

     I decided a few years back that I would no longer look at it as being negative and accept myself as who I am.  We are all unique in our own way.  You can’t judge every book by its cover.  I know my friend wasn’t judging me when he said that but many have in the past.  Those people didn’t know me that well so they made some assumptions based on my actions.  If they got to know me or if I shared more with them I don’t think they would have come to the same judgments.   I’ll give you a few examples. 

     Often, I exercise in the gym at my company during my lunch hour.  I know that I only have a short period of time to get a good workout in and get back to work.  Because of that I’m very focused during that period of time.  I speak to people with a nod of the head or a quick hello but that’s the extent of my conversation.  I see many people in there having conversation about work or the weekend or whatever.  I avoid those conversations because I’m focused on a good, solid work out.  However, if you asked me about my workout I would definitely answer you and not blow you off.  With that said I heard from some of my colleagues that they thought I wasn’t that friendly and didn’t help people in the gym.  They thought I was standoffish.   That was furthest from the truth but I understood.

     Another example is my neighbor.  He’s the type of neighbor that will stop what he’s doing in the yard and come and talk to you for 20 or 30 minutes just to shoot the breeze.  I don’t have a problem with that but that’s not who I am.  When I’m out in the yard I’m working and focused on getting it done.  I will speak but I don’t stop and just come over and talk.  It’s not because I don’t like talking to him; it’s just who I am.  I’m not the conversation starter.  I’ll help him anytime he needs it.  I’ll talk to him if he stops and talks to me.  I’ve even cut his grass when his lawn mower was broken.  Yet, he’s told his wife that he believes I have a problem with him so we don’t talk much at all now.  He said the last straw was when I put up a fence in my back yard.  I did that because we were getting a dog but I think he somehow believes it had something to do with him.

     I’m also like this with family as well.  I love my family, but I’m that family member you don’t hear from much.  I don’t call just to see how your day went or to see if you saw something on the news.  Some of you reading this will say it’s sad and I can understand why.  However, I am that family member that you can count on time and time again.  Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I will provide to the best of my ability.  I take pride in that.  When it comes to my immediate family, my wife and kids know they always come first.   I’m here for them and they know it.

     I gave you all the examples to help you understand that a lot of people could make the radio silence comment about me.  However, I refuse to look at as a bad thing.  It’s just who I am.  I might be different from your other friends, colleagues, or acquaintances and I acknowledge that.  What I’m no longer going to do is beat myself up about it.  I’m not going to see myself as less than others that are outgoing.  I concentrate on being the best person I can be and that’s it.  As long as I focus on that I will be successful.  Success for me is people saying “Drew is a great guy, a good friend and I asset to the family, he just doesn’t call that much.”   I’m hoping if you know me and are reading this blog you can give me some feedback on how I’m doing.  For those of you that don’t know me, I encourage you to acknowledge who you are and to be the best person you possible can.  That is the reminder for the week.  Be the best you and the world will be a better place because of it.

With gratitude,

Drew

“Do affirmations work?”

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Do affirmations work?”

     I’ve seen this debated over the Internet.  I’ve also had conversations with friends and loved ones about the same subject.  There are two camps that everyone seems to fall in.  Yes, they do work and No, they don’t work.  Which camp do you fall in?  Of course I fall in the “Yes, they do work” camp.  But don’t take that statement to mean that whatever you call an affirmation will work for you.  You see it all depends on what you are using as an affirmation.

       Before we go deeper into that subject let’s first talk about the goal of an affirmation.  The goal of an affirmation is not to have you achieve the exact thing you are affirming.  Surprised to hear me say that?  If your next question is what is the goal?  The goal of an affirmation is to get you thoughts aligned with what you want.  When you align those thoughts then you put yourself in a place to get exactly what you want.  You may say well then I should only say affirmations for things that I want?  The answer is yes.  Just don’t confuse that want of something with it being new.  What you want is already inside you.  Affirmations just help align your thoughts so that it can come out and be easier achieved.

      For example, let’s discuss the simple affirmation “I am healthy”.  Most people would think to only say this affirmation when you are sick.  Yes you should say it when you are sick because you desire to get back to your normal healthy state as quickly as possible.  Think about it though, if you are breathing you are healthy.  As long as you can do something to help you feel better you are healthy.  So yes say this affirmation when you are sick. However you want to be healthy all the time.  Therefore you should also say this affirmation even when you are at your healthiest because you desire to stay in that state of health.  Don’t take it for granted just because it is here today.  Work to make sure it will be here tomorrow as well.  Work to keep you state of healthiness at the upper level of the spectrum.  Just never forget that you are always somewhere on that spectrum as long as you are breathing.  This affirmation is also good when you are physically or mentally challenged in any way.  By saying “I am healthy” you remind yourself of the power of being healthy and how it can help you in any challenge.  The biggest gift of this affirmation is gained when you add the power of gratitude to it.  When you simply state “I am healthy” and then feel gratitude for being healthy you instantly get that rush of happiness.  You will smile.  You will be at peace.   You will be aligned with the ultimate desire and that is for you and everyone around you to be happy.

      In the two cases above affirmations do work.  Whether you choose to believe it or not your thoughts create your reality.  Affirmations help align your thoughts to create the reality you desire.  They are a tool and a very powerful one if used properly.  An example of improper use is getting so specific in an affirmation that you are basically lying to yourself.  When you lie to yourself you get out of alignment with what you want.  A good example is saying an affirmation like I am a millionaire.  Unless you have $1,000,000 in your bank account this is not a true statement.  You are telling yourself a lie. 

     What is the desire that you are addressing with this affirmation?  You have a desire to be wealthy.  I’m sure you have plenty of reasons you want to be wealthy.  You may want to live a stress free life when it comes to providing for yourself or your family.  You may want to travel the world without concern for cost.  You may want to buy some material items that make you feel happy.  Whatever it is it is deeper than just wanting to be a millionaire.  So instead of saying I am a millionaire, tell yourself I am wealthy.  That is a true statement. 

     We are all wealthy in this world.  What you choose to do with that wealth is your decision.  I’m not talking about the wealth of money.  I’m talking about the wealth of knowledge, the wealth of access, the wealth of mental capacity, the wealth of the ability to give and receive love, the wealth of a beautiful smile; the list goes on and on.  All of the wealth we have can lead you to become that millionaire or achieve those things directly related to why you want to be a millionaire.  By using the affirmation I am wealthy you align your thoughts to all of those truths to help bring them out to achieve your desires.  As I said earlier what you desire is already in you.  Affirmations are a tool to help bring it out.

     A different example of changing that affirmation is to say "I am a possessor of a millionaire mindset."  This also is a true statement that if exercised will lead to that million dollars in your bank account.  Having a millionaire mindset is a choice and it will take some work.  However, it is something you can do that will work not just consciously but subconsciously to help you obtain your desires.  It brings you into alignment of where you want to be.  Where you want to be is already here if you come into alignment and allow it to happen.

  

With gratitude,

Drew

Celebrate success often….

Drew’s Reminder,

 Celebrate success often….

     Last week I reached my first milestone as a blogger.  I shared my 10th post.  Since I only post once a week that means I’ve stuck to my commitment for 10 weeks straight.  I know it’s not a decade but I’m proud nonetheless.  With a demanding job and a beautiful family to care for I do have to make an effort to take time to gather my thoughts and write these posts.  So the thought of making this milestone made me think, “Hey, I should celebrate this achievement!”

     How many things do we celebrate throughout the year?  Birthdays and anniversaries are usually the norm.  The problem with them is they only come once a year.  If you are into sports you might celebrate a great achievement of your favorite sports team, local or national.  If you are an Atlanta Falcons fan like me then you don’t get to do that too often.  Then there are big milestones like graduations and weddings.  Now you are only talking a few occurrences in a lifetime.  So must of us don’t do a lot of celebrating do we?

      Think about those times that you do celebrate.  Feels good doesn’t it?  Graduations and weddings might make you cry but it is a good cry.  A cry you would do every week if you could.  Birthdays and anniversaries are just fun.  You are spending time with great people who make you feel great.  Celebrating a sporting team’s achievement is just an excuse to party so you know those are exciting.  With all that feel good celebrating why do we not carry that on to other successes in our lives?

     If you are one of those people that do celebrate your successes no matter how large or small then I definitely commend you.  Please share some of your secrets and techniques for getting it done.  I’m sure you are a happy person and you get a lot done.  The more successes you celebrate the more success you have.  Am I right?  I think so and I’m going to put it to test for my own experiences.  I am going to start celebrating as many of my successes as possible.  I want to feel as great as possible.  I welcome you all to join me.  As a matter of fact I’ll be sure to invite you to my 20th post celebration.  It will probably be something simple but it will be a celebration nonetheless.  As long as it feels good then the goal was met.  Now go out and celebrate some success!

With gratitude,

Drew

Update 8/23/15

     It's been 5 months since I wrote this original blog.  In those 5 months I've had plenty of successes but not as many celebrations.  So this blog is a great reminder to me that I need to start celebrating my successes more often.  The reason it is so important to celebrate success is because the celebration actually serves a greater purpose than making you happy.  The celebration actually brings you into a state of gratitude and you may not even realize it.  The reason I say this is because if you celebrate a success you put some thought into the accomplishment that you achieved.  If are truly reflecting on your accomplishment you can't help but at some point feel a sense of gratefulness for being able to accomplish it.  You won't take it for granted that you always achieve the result you desire and therefore you will be grateful that you did this time.  You all know how powerful gratitude is to us.   When you are truly grateful for something you will attract more of it into your life.  Whatever you focus your thoughts on will lead to the results that you are getting in life.  These are facts that none of us can question. 

     I also want to make the point that success is something that you define and no one else.  Do not let the outside world determine what success you should celebrate.  If you had a goal to do 10 push-ups without stopping and you achieve it then you should celebrate.  Do not concern yourself with the fact that a friend of yours can do 200.  If you had a goal to have a great interview by being energetic, confident and poised then you celebrate the fact that you did that after the interview.  It doesn't matter if you haven't heard whether you got the job.  You did what you wanted to do to get the job and therefore you should celebrate.  Don't worry if your friends or family say why are we celebrating and you don't even know if you got the job.  You define your success and you celebrate.  You have to continue to build this wonderful life that you've been granted and you shouldn't sit around waiting.  Do it now because the present is all we have.  

   Lastly I want to leave you with one more reminder.  Celebrations don't have to cost you lots of money or lots of time.  What they do require is a mental focus.  You have to take a mental moment during any celebration to acknowledge why you are celebrating.  That moment, even if it is just for 5 minutes, is the key to the benefits you will receive from celebrating.  Your thoughts are the building blocks to all the success you can ever want in this world.  When you stack those thoughts one by one on top of each other you not only build the foundation for success but you also build the pyramid that connects you to all the riches available in the universe.   You are the ultimate builder in this game of life.  Take that job seriously and construct your immaculate pyramid one thought at a time.  Now once again go out and celebrate some success that I know you have achieved. 

Stay the course and enjoy the journey!

With gratitude,
Drew  

Cruise control…..

Drew’s Reminder,

Cruise control…..

     It’s that feature on your car that you seldom use.  You know the one that has the buttons right there on the steering wheel so it is quick and easy to access.  The whole premise behind the feature is to allow you to set a speed, sit back and relax as you drive to your next destination.  However, you can’t really use the cruise control to get all the way to your destination.  Eventually your will have to brake and take to take a turn or avoid an accident and your cruise control will automatically go off.

     If you are like me you don’t like using your cruise control.  It actually makes driving a little boring to me.  I like the interaction of being in full control at every moment of my drive.  I like to be able to accelerate, decline and monitor my speed at every second of my travel to my destination.  For me it makes the drive more interesting.  It gives the drive more meaning.  When I get to my destination I feel more accomplished because I was much more involved in how I got there.  So my cruise control feature is useless in my car.

    Life can be the same way.   Some of us have been on cruise control way too long.  Just like in the car you will never get to a destination while in cruise control.  If you want to get somewhere you’ll have to take some action.  You’ll have to make some change to the patterns that are now controlling your cruise control.  Is there a destination that you want to get to but you just can’t seem to get there?  Are you truly happy or have you made yourself believe that you are comfortable?  What is comfort anyway?  To most of us comfort is a component of happiness. However many of us aren't happy but we tell ourselves we are comfortable because it helps us avoid addressing the truth.  Addressing that truth can lead to a state of happiness that you've never experienced before. That's a destination that we should all strive to align ourselves to visit.

      The great thing is you don't need to be distraught, just like with cruise control you have been moving along a path towards a destination and that destination is happiness.  You can take some comfort in that.  All is not lost.  Possibilities are endless so don’t grow too concerned if you find yourself in cruise control.  This is just a gentle reminder that if you want to reach your destination you are going to have to come out of cruise control and make some changes to make it there.  If you are like me you don’t want to be in cruise control anyway.  You want to be an active creator in your life experiences.  It will make it much more fun and meaningful when you do get to your destination.  We are only here for a snapshot in time so why not enjoy every moment.  Take some action and turn off your cruise control to get to your ultimate destination while you can.

With gratitude,

Drew

Visualize the race before you run it....

Drew’s Reminder,

Visualize the race before you run it.

     I was 16 years old and I really wanted to win.  Why else would I stay after school and endure those grueling practices that made me light headed at the verge of passing out?  Good thing I had a coach to help me along the way.  Even though I didn’t see six 200m dashes at full speed as help, there is one thing I still remember to this day.

     Before each race my coach would tell me a technique that I think we should all still use today.  He would tell me to close my eyes and see exactly how I would run the race before I ran it.  Explode out of the blocks at the sound of the gun.  Drive, with your head down, for the first 3^rd of the race.  Bring your head up and continue driving relaxed for the second 3^rd of the race.  Finally, drive through to the finishing line pushing your chess across the line.  He would tell me to see it in my mind just how I wanted it to occur.  He told me to see myself winning.

     I may not have won every race but I did win my fair share.  I was a state regional champion and I’m proud of that.  I will never forget that feeling of visualizing the win and then it actually occurring.  I started every race optimistic and confident that I would win.  When I didn’t win, I analyzed why and began preparing to fix it for the next race.  I wasn’t sad or down I was motivated.  Ready for the next challenge.

      All these years later I need to take that same advice in every situation I find myself in today.  If I have a meeting to present in I should stand outside that conference room door and visualize how well I will present.  I should visualize all of the decision makers acknowledging my thoughts and voting to do exactly what I want.  If I’m meeting someone to sell a product or idea I should visualize me convincing everyone in the meeting to buy my entire inventory or accept all of my recommended ideas. 

      By visualizing the outcome I am creating an expectation, the expectation to succeed.  I believe I will succeed.  By believing that I will succeed I am aligning my thoughts and actions to be able to succeed.  Does that guarantee success on my first try?  No it may not.  However, it will guarantee success if I kept the faith and continue trying.  Close your eyes and visualize your desires.  Do it now and do it often.  You will be at that finish line before you know it.

With gratitude,

Drew