Acknowledge and be the best you possible

Drew’s Reminder,

 “Acknowledge and be the best you possible”  

      I recently hung out with my friends for an annual March Madness event and one of my friends said something to me that made me think.  He said “Drew, what’s been up?  You've been on Radio Silence haven’t you?”   Immediately when he said it I knew what he meant and I started to feel bad about it.  The reason I felt bad because I understood exactly what he meant by that comment.  You see we had hung out a lot over the previous couple of months and then all of a sudden I was nowhere to be found.  I hadn't called, sent a text or participated much in the group chats.  I had been radio silent.  Before I started feeling too bad I had to remind myself of who I am and then I apologized to my friend for my silence.  We laughed and smiled and had a great time that night.

     However, I remember that statement and felt I had to write about it.  Let me explain why.  Being radio silent is a part of me that I’ve lived with my entire life.  I am by definition an introvert.  There was a time in my past (not that long ago) where I saw this as a negative.  I wished I was like my wife who is outgoing and can start up a conversation with any stranger.  I can do that too but I don’t choose to very often if at all.  I used to get anxiety just being in a room of people I didn’t know or didn’t know that well.  I used to be worried about not being able to hold a conversation or sitting there in awkward silence.  I still feel that anxiety sometimes even today but I have changed in another positive way.

     I decided a few years back that I would no longer look at it as being negative and accept myself as who I am.  We are all unique in our own way.  You can’t judge every book by its cover.  I know my friend wasn’t judging me when he said that but many have in the past.  Those people didn’t know me that well so they made some assumptions based on my actions.  If they got to know me or if I shared more with them I don’t think they would have come to the same judgments.   I’ll give you a few examples. 

     Often, I exercise in the gym at my company during my lunch hour.  I know that I only have a short period of time to get a good workout in and get back to work.  Because of that I’m very focused during that period of time.  I speak to people with a nod of the head or a quick hello but that’s the extent of my conversation.  I see many people in there having conversation about work or the weekend or whatever.  I avoid those conversations because I’m focused on a good, solid work out.  However, if you asked me about my workout I would definitely answer you and not blow you off.  With that said I heard from some of my colleagues that they thought I wasn’t that friendly and didn’t help people in the gym.  They thought I was standoffish.   That was furthest from the truth but I understood.

     Another example is my neighbor.  He’s the type of neighbor that will stop what he’s doing in the yard and come and talk to you for 20 or 30 minutes just to shoot the breeze.  I don’t have a problem with that but that’s not who I am.  When I’m out in the yard I’m working and focused on getting it done.  I will speak but I don’t stop and just come over and talk.  It’s not because I don’t like talking to him; it’s just who I am.  I’m not the conversation starter.  I’ll help him anytime he needs it.  I’ll talk to him if he stops and talks to me.  I’ve even cut his grass when his lawn mower was broken.  Yet, he’s told his wife that he believes I have a problem with him so we don’t talk much at all now.  He said the last straw was when I put up a fence in my back yard.  I did that because we were getting a dog but I think he somehow believes it had something to do with him.

     I’m also like this with family as well.  I love my family, but I’m that family member you don’t hear from much.  I don’t call just to see how your day went or to see if you saw something on the news.  Some of you reading this will say it’s sad and I can understand why.  However, I am that family member that you can count on time and time again.  Whatever you need, whenever you need it, I will provide to the best of my ability.  I take pride in that.  When it comes to my immediate family, my wife and kids know they always come first.   I’m here for them and they know it.

     I gave you all the examples to help you understand that a lot of people could make the radio silence comment about me.  However, I refuse to look at as a bad thing.  It’s just who I am.  I might be different from your other friends, colleagues, or acquaintances and I acknowledge that.  What I’m no longer going to do is beat myself up about it.  I’m not going to see myself as less than others that are outgoing.  I concentrate on being the best person I can be and that’s it.  As long as I focus on that I will be successful.  Success for me is people saying “Drew is a great guy, a good friend and I asset to the family, he just doesn’t call that much.”   I’m hoping if you know me and are reading this blog you can give me some feedback on how I’m doing.  For those of you that don’t know me, I encourage you to acknowledge who you are and to be the best person you possible can.  That is the reminder for the week.  Be the best you and the world will be a better place because of it.

With gratitude,

Drew